Well, I never

Do you know what they call a head of

masturbating

cattle? Beef stroganoff.

Where did I come from?

Sexual preference chemical found in mice

What does serotonin look like and where can I get some? Oops, I've just found some tatooed on a bloke, it is a bloke, isn't it? at Neurotopia, where else?

Check out this BBC new story - it's quite short. It couldn't be that simple could it?

The spoiler is that the article concludes with:

At this time therefore any potential links between serotonin and human sexual preferences must be considered somewhat tenuous.

But every academic article with its salt, concludes with caution not to over-generalise.

Has anyone's penis fallen off while masturbating

Some questions one never thinks to ask. Or do we? Someone posed the quandary on questionbag.com, which I arrived at having come across my dick came off in my hand in the British National Corpus, in an extract from Kenneth Williams' A Biography.

You see I was having a pee - and my dick came off in my hand.
The doctor asked to see the fallen member.
I've got it in my tobacco pouch, said the patient, undoing his pouch and showing the contents to the doctor.
This isn't a penis, said the medical man. It's two ounces of Ready-Rubbed Old Holborn shag.
Oh, the patient replied, I 've smoked my cock.
It was an old joke, but he told it beautifillly.
It wasn't the joke, it was the ritual ...

One concerned correspondent at AnswerBag.com said: ive heard if you cough sneeze and fart at the same time your penis falls off!!! is this true please tell me im very scared.

Masturbation is not a crime

I had never intended to show cocks and their attendeant bits on this site, but given that the Nifty.org tale Straight boy roommate by Kevtrainerboy kicks off with T-shirt with the same slogan, I had to break this promise to myself. I have no idea where this picture came from ... just one that I've collected over the years, and found in a folder deep in the twisted hierarchy of one of my memory devices.

Update Oct 2010: the picture disappered, so no cocks anyway. Instead a T-shirt from Both Big and Clever online shop. I hope they don't mind me advertising them :-)

If you'll forgive me quoting myself, here's what I wrote to Kev upon reading the first instalment:

Years of reading Nifty and a story keeping not only a smile of amusement but one of admiration on my face all day is not only rare but unheard of. Am just rereading it in my fav cafe in Norwich, and it is indeed a jolly tale. Both characters adorable in their own ways. The use of 'cunt' to die for. Lots of little things adding up to wonderful read.

He wrote back, and when I later added

I want to write the musical :-) Emo boy's a bit of a fly in the vaseline, n'est-ce pas?

He replied thus:

I laughed out loud at your email. Brilliant! Who shall we get to star in it when it goes to the West End? If Zac Efron is available, he could play the geeky roommate, maybe?